So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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