Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize