I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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