woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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