i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
