Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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