Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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