Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize