Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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