I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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