Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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