dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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