you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize