have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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