why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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