every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
