This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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