In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize