I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
