Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
