so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
