He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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