He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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