I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
