we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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