Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
