Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
