The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize