i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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