I didn't shave. On purpose
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize