You just made me feel so damn special
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize