Buhtt sex?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
