I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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