He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
