I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
