OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
