I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
