just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
