Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
