Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize