Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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