you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
