I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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