So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
