Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
