I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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