...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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