I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
