The maid of honor just puked.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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