So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
