i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
