I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
