Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Randomize
