check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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