How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize