Princesses don't give blow jobs
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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