3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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