i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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