seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
