I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
