Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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