I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
