there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
