We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
