What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
