Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
