Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize