so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Green mimosas i think yes
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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